2012 Yardbirds Competition
That's so hoary my glasses steamed up.
Common Redpoll ssp flammeaDESCRIPTION:A bit more interesting than Lesser Redpoll.KEY FEATURES:Needs to have a bit of white on it. But don't worry too much, no-one's going to give a shit.Common Redpoll ssp rostrata,DESCRIPTION:Basically a streaky Greenfinch.KEY FEATURES:Voice like Barry White, body like Geoff Capes. bird completely dwarfs nearby fulmarsArctic Redpoll ssp exilipesDESCRIPTION:Somewhere between crippling snowball and baffling shitpiece.KEY FEATURES:Often stimulates a need for Anadin extra. Diagnostic features include white rump (actually, that's not really diagnostic), plain white undertail coverts (not really diagnostic either, and they don't have to have it at all), short stubby bill (again not really diagnostic), buffy face (no, not diagnostic at all), white wingbars (you're shitting me, they all have white wingbars). Ok, it's best not to look at them too long, or they might cause you to ask questions you don't want to answer. (E.g. Why am I wasting my precious life looking at these miserable feathered lizards? Where did it all go wrong? Curse you cruel fate! I could have been somebody! etc etc.). Arctic Redpoll ssp hornemaniiDESCRIPTION:Holy fuck!KEY FEATURES:Instant boner. Likely to cause panic amongst non-birders due to resemblance of Abominable Snowman. on the ground they move by rolling over, giving rise to the alternative name Arctic Roll (J. Gilroy)
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